Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just invented taco cereal.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
