oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
