he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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