Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
