I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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