I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
