I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize