so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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