its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
