I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
When are your genitals available?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
