We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
