Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
