i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
