): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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