So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
