Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize