when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
