Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
