I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
