he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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