I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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