Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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