Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
