It's just like the Real World with babies
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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