Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
