the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
