We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I love you. Go after that dick
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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