i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize