im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
