i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
