I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
then he tried to convert me to islam
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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