I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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