Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
