He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
