So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
