who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
