you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
