After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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