I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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