there's paper in my vomit.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
