Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
