so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
