so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
