So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
