chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize