So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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