you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
you're hired as official boob wrangler
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
