what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize