doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
