At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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