Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
