the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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