the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
