My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
