how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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