on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i came on her dog
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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