Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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