I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
